Redefining Motherhood!

I was inspired to start this action in my life through engaging with the Mums that Slay (Yvadney’s) #dopefriday session.

You see I’m a “mummy/mum” twice over now and soon to be for the third time. I have realised through stepping out of my comfort zone and being DOPE, that there is a lot of conditioning, I have endured over the last almost 10 years of being a mum!

I remember when I first found out I was pregnant with my daughter, I immediately decided that I would no longer engage in certain things I used to. Some of these were of course a necessity to let go off but I assumed that being a mum meant I could no longer have fun or be myself! I changed the way I spoke, dressed, thought about others, interacted with us etc. I became somebody I didn’t recognise…

Now of course, naturally in becoming a parent your priorities change and your focus is different but that doesn’t mean to say, you must put aside things you are passionate about and enjoy! I often hear the saying “your life ends when you have children,” I couldn’t disagree more with this statement! In my opinion, life begins…

It all depends on how you view motherhood and define the role in your life. I have decided to redefine the role of motherhood in my life, as I no longer see it is a restrictive vice but actually an opportunity to allow my personality to flourish.

One of the ways I have done this, is to reconsider what it means to be a “hot mumma” and not to shy away from this. I’ve always loved fashion, expressing myself through it but I shunned this idea when I became a mum. I think it was partly due to a lack of confidence and also the societal pressures of being a ‘young mum.’ However, I have encountered a network of mummies who are as DOPE and HOT as anything; proudly so!

Upon reflection, what kind of role model am I to my children, if I teach them to confine themselves based on the judgements and interpretations of others? Fashion is my passion and expression something I will do freely without any worry or anxiety surrounding judgement by others!

So here’s to more fashion statements and the redefining of motherhood!

I feel like S***!!!

Did you know that maternal anxiety is nearly as prevalent as maternal depression?

Here I am at the age of 20, two months after giving birth to my daughter. Behind the smile, I was lonely, sad, anxious, frustrated and feeling low. BUT I never realised until now that these were all signs of maternal depression and anxiety.

I was determined as a young single mum to cope at all costs and never show weakness, as society’s stigma was already evident for me! This was at a big cost, as I masked my feelings and suffered in silence. There were nights I would regret ever having my daughter, times I considered myself unfit and would cry at the thought of not being able to take care of her sufficiently. If only, I had the reminder that it’s ok not to be ok, my experience of motherhood would have been so very different!

This time round, I am in a totally different place in my life…thriving in raising my almost 9 year old daughter, married to my best friend and living up life in the UAE. Yet, why did I still feel anxious about being a mum the second time round? I realise that ALOT of my anxiety was developed from my innate desire to succeed in all things. I wanted to be a BOSS at being a mum of two and wife and initially felt more like a college student on an Internship!

This week is Maternal Mental Health Week and I can’t express how important it is to speak out! I have been able to manage and cope with my anxiety better this time round by acknowledging my anxiety, recognising that it is normal and speaking about my feelings (something I REALLY struggled with in my younger years). There are so many amazing campaigns and organisations out there so no-one should feel isolated in their feelings. Please feel free to message me on any of my social media accounts, if you just want a listening ear!

Please do check out The Blue Dot Project and the amazing work that they are doing in addressing maternal mental health!

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Kym x